I first saw this end of the year meme at transplantingme.com, who found it somewhere else and has made a tradition out of completing it ever year – since like forever. So I decided to give it a go.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? a mostly balanced act of a working parent of two beautiful children.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i think mine was survival… i have made it thus far

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My youngest cousin’s wife – Brian and Brooke.

4. Did anyone close to you die? no

5. What countries did you visit? England

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Better boundaries and more confidence in me

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? February 4, 2008 – going back to work after being at home for 4 1/2 months with my beautiful girl… May 17th, 2008 – flying with both children to England and they were both AWESOME!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Helping my son develop a loving bond with his little sister. And, making it to our 10 year anniversary.

9. What was your biggest failure? not prepared to talk about this publicly.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no, just lack of exercise and apparently, now have hypothyroidism (bc of last pregnancy)

11. What was the best thing you bought? wii fit (dec 31 08)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my son, being a loving big brother. i love to see his face light up when he sees his little sister and hers too!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? no comment

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills… bills… and England trip (wow, the dollar was so weak)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? whenever my mom comes to visit… she is amazing help and a kindred spirit

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? don’t fear the reaper… my son loves this song… over and over and over again on rockband, esp…

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer? happier in some ways/sadder in others, thinner, about the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? laugh and exercise

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? I wish I’d been overwhelmed less.

20. How did you spend Christmas? with my kids, husband, my in-laws and my nephew, lovely christmas

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? yes, with my daughter (over and over again)

22. What was your favorite TV program? Heroes (having withdraws right now)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? nope

24. What was the best book you read? The Boleyn Inheritance… it was the only book I read

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? really enjoying inspirational hits.. mostly, getting my ipod organized!!!

26. What did you want and get? finally travel back to see and experience england again and stay at my in-laws house.

27. What did you want and not get? more time to reflect and sleep

28. What was your favorite film of this year? i’m sure it would have been the new bond film, had I had a chance to see it. Sex in the City was fun.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 37th birthday… low key with my immediate family

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? have a lot of thoughts with this one… its probably best i say, no comment (sorry)

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? casual when not at work, love my jeans

32. What kept you sane? c1 and d6

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Eddie Izzard

34. What political issue stirred you the most? the election… it was quite an event. not too happy with the results, honestly. not impressed with all the children’s books and books out everywhere for the last couple of months on a soon-to-be President that has not done anything, but run a successful campaign to woo the nation

35. Who did you miss? my friend that lived 4 miles away and moved to Thailand!!!

36. Who was the best new person you met? reaquainted with old friends now new again on fb. and, my husband’s cousin, Kimberely in Australia. loved her!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Trust in God, he will guide you. Never forget and never give up. He has a plan for your life and he doesn’t have to tell you what that plan is.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. I’m Yours by Jason Mraz:

‘Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I’m trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I’ll be giving it my bestest
Nothing’s going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melodies
It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I’m saying is there ain’t no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It’s what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I’m sure
No need to complicate
Our time is short
It can not wait, I’m yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A la one big family (2nd time: A la happy family)
It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won’t hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It’s your God-forsaken right to be loved, I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

No I won’t hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours, I’m yours’

as much as life right now has so much sadness and despair, i know that i am surrounded by the most beautiful friends that continue my faith, my hope, and my love. i don’t know what i would do without them these days. they continue to make me laugh, they let me cry and they love me and my beautiful kids.

they raise me up to make the best life i can for my kids. thank you!!!

what to do… well, I did make one step. i updated our netflix with more amiable movies that both of us would watch. there are some movies that i am just not ready to let go of.

don’t get me wrong, i have had my own boycotts in my time. i boycotted wal-mart and target 2 years ago when they wouldn’t advertise ‘christmas’ in their ‘christmas/holiday’ ads, which make them tons of money. and, it did make a difference. it made national news, which others joined in.

but, how much will it hurt to watch the latest outspoken or even the subtle ‘hollywood’ entertainer? i do not want to name them because i don’t want to give them anymore ‘press’ for their uneducated/narrow-minded views. why can’t they choose to take the high road, and believe what they want and not throw it in our face of what THEY think is right.

i have made one big decision, which those that know me… this is BIG for me. I will not watch the OSCARS this year. I am tired of the ‘liberal’ forum they believe everyone wants to hear about.

i just love the movies! why can we not enjoy them for what they are…

beautiful girl.

she is cute, isn’t she? i thought i would lighten the mood. i reread my blog and its going a bit deep.

so, little miss priss is a biter. she only bites me, so far no one else that i know and she only does it when she is finished nursing. i get the picture quickly. she looks at me all cute and bites, then i say ‘no’, then she does it again with a sweet little face. then, she gets a bottle. she has done this every time for the last week. i start to laugh, but trying not to

she is cute. granted, she has gotten about 3-4 teeth just in the last week, so she must be ‘trying on’ her new teeth.

QA in Denver Paramount

i had the fantastic opportunity to see my favorite adored comedian in concert. wow, he was amazing. as funny as i had ever hoped. i laughed so hard, i cried. went with some great friends, and it was a great night out.

this was his stripped tour. needless to say, I am SOOO upset, we missed a QA after the concert. this picture was taken by a friend of mine the next night. we missed him by about 10 minutes. we were hot, tired, and i ended up working till 2am because of a deadline. worst timing ever.

that’s not what i really want to write about, I really came away from his concert with wanting to talk to him, enlighten him, share my experience with yes, the EDDIE IZZARD. if I have had the chance, what question would I ask him??? why would he care what I thought?

here is what concerned me from his stand-up act… he talked a ton about Christianity and his doubts and questions/disbeliefs. he wants to empower everyone that we can do great things, but without God. how can that be? 6 years ago, i would have been right there with him, now… not so much.

he is missing out on really trying to understand who God is and who he can be in his heart. i guess, I felt sadness for him and wondered if I (little me) could change his heart, because i have feel obligated to help him and i have walked this similar path of doubt. i felt the same way he does for probably 17 years. i live with a born englishman, who feels very similar. i see the doubt, sarcasm, and hypocrisy daily and I see the sadness and the weight of having to take on so much as an individual and having little or no hope/faith of a savior to take away the pain. it deeply hurts me to hear eddie izzard speak so directly to me. it went straight to my heart. i know, I saw my family in his words, maybe I am wanting to help them see God?

from what I experienced just being in England this Spring, it seems like England and Europe have mostly put God on the side…as izzard has said in one of his routines… ‘christianity is kind of a hobby.’ we were just in England and I saw it with my own eyes. And, those people that have made God a priority… they are the outsiders and few people understand them. where did they get lost?

one of my thoughts that I may share with mr. izzard via email might be for him to download some sermons from a great church that changed my feelings. my friends told me ‘give it one month, when I doubted’. it took two visits to the church and it hit me deeply on father’s day in 2004. Try out listening to pod casts of Kelly Williams at www.vanguardchurch.org. In one of our sermons, our pastor talked of our church has sometimes been known as the ‘last outpost’ before people give up on God, maybe Vanguard could soften the great Eddie Izzard’s heart to take the challenge to at least get to know God, then decide on his path. i know it has soften my family’s heart and I continue to pray and continue to lead my life as God has instructed me, which is difficult to know what he wants vs. what I think he wants.

maybe eddie will find this post. thank goodness, he is a MAC lover, as I am. sounds like he can move around the internet pretty well

maybe I can get through to the great eddie izzard via email and pray. crazy, you may say… nothing is impossible with God on our side. lord, do I know this!

d5 in Christ Church

i have been meaning to write since June on our trip to England. it was a great trip for the family to take. we went to see all of our family and friends and have everyone meet the kids. the kids were awesome on all the flights despite AA craziness. can not believe how awesome they were. c1 was 8 months old at the time, perfect timing on our part. before she started really moving. she started crawling the last day we were there and going fast ever since.

england was beautiful and restful as a big family vacation goes. we had a ‘home’ away from home with my oH’s parents home. it was such a relief to sort of keep a routine going. i wish we had more opportunities to repeat this opportunity. its so far and now, so expensive.

d5 decides what to do first

family and friends were amazing. we caught up with almost everyone. we had nights out with family, so many kids for d5 to meet. days with family, i learned to knit (mostly) from my mother-in-law… nice day trips, our best was a day out with d5 in Oxford. got to see some Harry Potter film locations. very cool.

all d5s cousins, very proud

the best part of it all was the opportunity that d5 has had the chance to meet and get to know ALL of his cousins. he meet so many cousins and he seemed to be related to everyone. he thought it was so cool. he played football with his big cousins and he remembers everything and we gave him a photo album of all his adventures while he was there. we are so blessed to be d5′s parents.

d5 at england home

where to begin. my little boy d5 just started kindergarten last week. wow, it affected me like i thought it would. right to my heart, how he’s growing up. watching your little boy walk alone into big kid school is a defining moment for me as a mom. what lies ahead will be fantastic, challenging and crazy (from what I hear). i’m happy for him, and not to sure how to prepare him for what’s ahead.

i received great advice today, seeds will be planted in my little ones head (good and bad). it’s how we cultivate them seeds will determine the affect they will take on his life. i’m going with that. advice, from a wise and great friend.

my little c1 is growing up fast. her bd is next month, wow… almost turning one year old. it doesn’t seem possible. she has quite the spirit that hopefully we can cultivate to the good. she can be a little rascal, but she is so happy and has the most beautiful smile. she has 5-6 teeth, about 3 just in the last week. she bites! we are working on that one.

oH has been an exercise/walking groove. walking everywhere, which is awesome. he walks to the library, grocery, day care, school, and best buy. getting quite adventurous. I have had the opportunity to walk some of the times. a 5-year old will only go so often and so far, so i feel limited many times. otherwise, oH has got a neat project in the works that is getting him stirred up creatively, so that is great for him!! and, he has been much more helpful with the kids and that has taken quite a bit of stress away.

me… i feel like I have gone into this inner self quietness. almost, like i am TRYING to process all that is going on around me within my family and trying to figure out my role, my groove, my life. haven’t gotten there. have made some plans, which in itself has helped tremendously. i haven’t been as in tune with prayer as I want to be, but that i am working towards. i do feel a sense of peace in this chaos around me.

you can put your prayers to jesus on the cross, i had a hard time deciding which ones to put. i decided on two and god has been working the miracles through his power and whatever he is doing to my spirit and words. i know i am a bit vague, so i will give a few details.

i gave my oH’s health and spirit to God. and, i can already see how God is putting thoughts, feelings, and words in my heart to share. i have been trying to share this part of me, and if you know my oH you would understand that this is no easy task. i am trying and with God’s love and help it is working on God’s schedule.

my oH asked me two days ago THAT question, ‘if you knew what you know now, would you have still married me’ (10 yrs ago next week, to be exact). i have been worried about this question for some time, and I knew in my heart…’yes, i would’, which I told him ‘yes’. i know God has a plan, not the plan i had/have. so, i’m trying to understand and accept this plan.

i wouldn’t be where i am today if i hadn’t married oH. i may not have my beautiful kids,  married to a good man, lived in a beautiful place, have wonderful/loving friends, respect/love from my parents, or may not have found peace and faith in God.

‘be still and know that i am’

life has been busy. my little c1 has been sick with the rotavirus. FUN. And my d5 has been in Texas with grandparents living it up. god, i miss him. i can’t believe how much i miss him. he’s been at his grandparents before, but with little c1 here without d5 our family has a huge void. he’s coming back within the next 3 days, so i can’t wait.

and what was i thinking, what all can i get done while my oldest is away. i accomplished very little, didn’t help c1 being sick for 5 of the 12 days. poor little thing. i have a lot to learn about being a mom.

work has been very stressful, so my mind still being lost is coming back. all coming back home! searching for my center. through exercise, yoga, healthy eating, and pray.